I was told I'd never make it as a writer.
The first time I heard it was from an English teacher if you can believe it.
A published English teacher.
I’d gone to her for advice when I was struggling to land a job after college. She said to be a writer you needed a thick skin - which, admittedly, I did not have at the time. I was also only in my early 20s; I’d get there (here I am!).
She said writers don’t make much money, either, so I was better off jotting down my stories on the side of a 9 to 5. Her recommendation: Walk a different path.
The second time I heard it was from one of my internship advisors. Only, she didn’t say it to me; she wrote it, in my end-of-the-semester review:
Julia does not have what it takes to make it in this industry.
Granted, this woman and I did not get along. Oftentimes, she did not assign me tasks, let alone acknowledge me. There were a handful of times she’d left without a goodbye and other editors on the team would find me in the beauty closet, confused about why I hadn’t been dismissed hours ago. So, I had to take her comments with a grain of salt.
This is when that “thick skin,” started to form. After a good cry, of course.
The last straw was when a former co-worker snorted when I told them I wanted to be a writer. I was working as a waitress at a brunch spot while I figured out my next move. They likened me to Andy in The Devil Wears Prada, only instead of going on to be a successful reporter, they pictured me in a kind of editorial purgatory, in which I’d never actually write, but fetch coffee and be at the beck and call of someone else.
They said, “You’ll still be working here in 10 years.”
It was the last conversation we’d ever have; I quit the next day and got on a train the day after that. I interviewed with WGSN and landed an internship “a million girls would kill for.”
It was the first page of one of the most exciting chapters of my life thus far.
Eight short years later, I’ve been a full-time editor, a part-time reporter, and a full-time freelancer.
I’ve worked for corporate publications and start-ups. In 2019, I became my own boss and doubled my income as an independent contractor.
I’ve written for upwards of 20 websites (including InStyle, Allure, Cosmopolitan, SheKnows, INSIDER, and MindBodyGreen, to name a few), and somehow managed to land my first print placement in the September issue of Allure magazine — a mere three months before it folded.
While I might have taken the doubts and slights to heart back then, I never let them deter me from going after what I wanted, in the same way, that while I knew I wasn’t the world’s greatest singer, I still tried out for The Voice. I wasn’t flexible or coordinated in any way, shape, or form, but I joined the cheer squad. I wasn’t athletic, but I tried out for the volleyball team. I was scared of public speaking, but I presented a paper on Jane Austen at a convention. I was terrified of getting in front of the camera and public criticism, but I shot a few beauty videos for Seventeen Magazine’s YouTube channel.
I still shake before every celebrity interview, and I’ve interviewed a lot of celebrities. I’ve planked side-by-side with Carrie Underwood. I did a HIIT class, on a boat, with Nina Dobrev. I did dance cardio with Vanessa Hudgens. I’ve sat down with Queen Latifah. I’ve hopped on the phone with Kate Hudson, Rosario Dawson, and Dove Cameron. I’ve hopped on zoom with Priyanka Chopra. I’ve email-interviewed Kris Jenner, Shay Mitchell, and Gigi Hadid. And that’s just a handful of examples.
No one would describe me as fearless, but I don’t typically let fear hold me back. This is especially true when it comes to writing.
Or, at least, it was.
I’ve been feeling… stuck. Stagnant. Ready for a change, but not knowing what, exactly, that change should be.
It’s like I’ve been in a fog. I’m going through the motions without passion. I thought it was burnout.
Now, I’m starting to think it’s something more.
I was chatting with a girlfriend of mine the other day, and I mentioned how I wanted to finish writing my second manuscript in the upcoming year.
“You’ll do it. I know it,” she said. “I know you and when you put your mind to something, you get it done!”
My mom has said this to me before, too. Time and time again, she’s told me to never lose that drive, that go-getter attitude.
I’m concerned that I have, but I’m also convinced it’s because, for a while, there wasn’t anything I wanted to work toward, to “go get.” I put my head down, hustled, handed in my articles, and focused on little else.
That’s changing in 2023.
The spark has been lit, and there’s a fire inside me, burning with creativity. It’s time to chase a different dream.
No, I’m not quitting my job. I’m still going to be writing articles on the regular. (A girl’s gotta pay her bills.) But my heart’s telling me it’s time to dedicate time and energy to the passion I’ve set aside: Creative writing. Storytelling. Books.
It’s time to explore again...
Here’s to 2023, friends! I’m looking forward to the New Year and the new opportunities ahead.
You are a rockstar Jules💜
I have a frame at home that reminds me, "Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it!" Sounds like you're about to play some new, beautiful tunes, Julia, and I'm so happy for you!! May your 2023 be blessed and fruitful...you're off to a great start!!