I Found The Secret To A Happier Life

It was hiding in my childhood.

“I will get this promotion or something better.”

That is the first line introducing us to the character of Keaton in Kristy Woodson Harvey’s book, A Happier Life.

When I read it, I was lying in bed, enveloped by darkness except for the glow of my neck lamp on the page. The only sound in the room was Lauren’s sleepy breaths. I had been frustrated with work for a while, hoping a sign from the universe would help me get through it. But it looks like I got something better: a sign from Tina.

“This or better” was mine and Tina’s motto for years. She brought it to me initially. We were talking about sayings to get us through tough times, and she said, “I recently picked one up that I love. “This or better.” It will either be this - or something better.”

I loved it, too. You either have what’s best for you already, or time will prove it’s not and you’ll move on to better.

I know what you might be thinking. Yes, I know - Tina didn’t write the book. But I do believe in divine timing. I was meant to read this book and, more specifically, that line, when I did. I like to think she had a hand in that.

What compelled me to pick up Woodson Harvey’s 2024 release? Well, because Mark and I have more room for entertaining now, I decided that 2025 would be the year I would realize one of my adult lifelong dreams: I would host a book club. And so, I am!

The club is bi-monthly, and because our first meeting will be this month (February - for those reading in the future), I wanted a story with themes of love. Romantic love, familial love, platonic love - it didn’t matter; I just wanted to feel something. Well, out of all of the suggested titles we put into a hat, A Happier Life was chosen - and feel something I have. The narrative has given me a lot of food for thought, specifically on the topic of the many choices we must make to feel satisfied and, if we’re lucky, happy.

$14.49 for hardcover, amazon.com

A Happier Life is a multiple-POV, dual-timeline novel following Becks and Townsend St. James in the 1960s/70s, and Keaton, their granddaughter, in the present day. Becks and Townsend’s life together is rich in love, but not without its challenges, while Keaton struggles to find a love that sticks.

While love is a theme of the story, I would argue that finding and fighting for happiness is its central focus. It’s also a lesson in that, though an emotion, happiness is also a choice, and in some instances, choosing to be happy means closing the book on something you once thought would get you there.

Keaton finds herself at a crossroads when she’s tasked with cleaning out her grandparent’s house and becomes acclimated to the charming town of Beaufort, South Carolina. Does she return to New York City, to a job whose environment has drastically changed, but she worked hard to climb the corporate ladder? Or, does she stay in the South, with no job prospects, but the people and place she’s grown to love?

I empathized with Keaton from the first page. I, too, find myself contemplating what a change in career paths would mean for me at this point in my life. I think about it a lot, actually. It’s no secret that the editorial industry isn’t exactly thriving. With so many layoffs of full-time employees, the freelance pool is getting bigger and it’s getting harder to find work. In some instances, it’s hard to hold on to the work I do have when new editors have replaced the former editors I had a strong working relationship with and brought a team of their friends on with them.

I understand that my industry is difficult to be in right now and that networking and building strong working and friendly relationships are important. If I were in a position to help those I care about, I wouldn’t hesitate—not for a second. However, I’m not in that position. And so even though I am grateful for the friends I do have, who still give me work when they’re able, things have changed so significantly for me in the past year that figuring out a plan B has crossed my mind.

At the same time I’m reading this book, people have started writing sentimental poems on social media, exploring what it would be like to take their younger selves out for coffee. I haven’t written one, but it’s interesting to consider. What would I say to my younger self? Specifically, if my younger self asked me what work is like for us right now, how would I answer?

My initial response would be to grimace and probably describe our current situation as frustrating, upsetting, and exhausting. But these are surface-level emotions; they’re reactive, caused by something deeper: A or multiple primary emotions. Like fear.

I am 33 years old, having worked in my industry for over a decade, with the experience and reputation to show for it. Yet, these days it feels like I have to work from the ground up all over again, which scares me. I need to prove my worth, even though I know it. My resume is just a piece of paper with impressive words, and my articles are just pixelated ink. It feels as though, unless an editor witnessed my coming up in this industry, what I’ve accomplished up to this point doesn’t matter. And with so many layoffs occurring from one day to the next, I am afraid that one day (maybe one day soon), all of my colleagues will become my competition, and we’ll all be vying for the same positions and assignments that probably won’t pay us nearly what we deserve.

In A Happier Life, I think Keaton feels the primary emotion, shame over how she’s spent her career building a name for someone else when she has the tools to be a brand in her own right. I also feel shame. I am ashamed that I have yet to publish a novel. I have yet to even try, let alone work to make any of my finished manuscripts publishable.

This has been eating away at me for a while and came to a head when I recently found my high school yearbook. 90% of the inscriptions from close friends and casual classmates commented on my love for writing.

“Keep writing your heart out, can’t wait to see your book in a store!” 

“I have complete faith in you that you will do great things, and you will be sure to see me 1st in line for your autograph at your first book signing.” 

“I know you’ll be a famous author soon, so I’m expecting a signed copy of your book.” 

“I can’t wait to read your books because if you put just a piece of your heart in them, they’ll be unbelievable.” 

“When your book is published, best believe that’s the only book I will buy and read!”

So, what happened? Did I get derailed? In a way, yes.

How did I go from wanting to publish novels to working in media? Well, I had an honest conversation with my Dad. He asked me what I wanted to do with my degree. I said I wanted to write books. He said ok, followed by, what do you want to do to make money in the meantime? I found my answer when I walked into CVS to pick up a prescription later that weekend and was met with two displays worth of magazines. That’s what I’ll do, I decided. I’ll write for magazines.

From 2013 through the winter of 2015, I was in my intern era, commuting into the city to learn all I could about the industry under teams at Lucky, Marie Claire, WGSN, and Fashionista. In the spring of 2015, I was hired as a part-time fashion and beauty writer for Bustle, then I went full-time as the beauty editor of BestProducts.com. 2015 to 2017 was my New York City all-things-beauty editor era. 2017 to 2019 was my fitness-and-health-reporter era at Elite Daily, and 2019-2024 was my full-time freelance writer era.

Now, I’m transitioning into my stay-at-home mom and career-woman era, and it’s been nothing short of interesting to figure out what that looks like in an industry that doesn’t guarantee job security.

I can hear Gilmore Girls’ Jess Mariano’s voice now, scolding, as if I were in my Yale-dropout Rory era, “What’s going on with you?” And for the first time since high school, I empathize with the 20-year-old when she answers, dumbfounded, “I don’t know.”

I don’t know.

But I’m not a 20-year-old college sophomore like Rory. I’m a 33-year-old woman like Keaton. I’m a wife. I’m a mother! But professionally, I feel like 22-year-old Julia all over again, wondering what my career will look like in a few months, a year, ten years…

This isn’t to say I’ve been miserable for the past decade spent in media. I had a lot of fun working as a beauty editor in the city. The press previews, parties, starring in a few YouTube videos for Seventeen, and my first taste of interviewing celebrities were a blast. It only got better working for Elite Daily. I got to work from home before working from home was commonplace! I was interviewing celebrities all the time. I worked out with Nina Dobrev on a yacht. I met Carrie Underwood and Queen Latifah! I interviewed four out of the five Pretty Little Liars! Not to mention, I was in the best shape of my life from all the “I tried this” articles.

But I stopped writing creatively. It wasn’t until 2019 that I started writing the last book I finished - and who’s to say if I would have finished it, had Covid not happened? I stopped chasing that dream for something else. Something that wasn’t a dream for me at all, but has been a happy twist of fate.

Thanks to Kristy Woodson Harvey’s book, I no longer see my situation as a disaster but as an opportunity to make new career decisions that will contribute to a happier life. The first step is establishing what I truly want.

I have always wanted to be a wife, a homemaker, and a mom. I’ve accomplished those dreams. I’m happy in my home life. I love being a wife and being a mom. But, my first dream was to be a novelist. It is no easy feat to be all those things, but it is achievable. I’ve made a name for myself in the editorial industry. So why can’t I make a name for myself in the publishing industry?

Like Keaton, I can do hard things. I can do scary things. I can start over. I’ve done it before. Going full-time freelance in 2019 was terrifying. But I did it and I’m proud of my work and the opportunities I’ve earned. So while you’ll still see my byline (did you hear about my new gig with House Beautiful!?), I’m chasing a new dream now: A simpler life, rich in stories and words from my heart and imagination. That is what always made me happy. Returning to it will make me even happier than I am now.

What about you? What is your idea of a happier life?